That was a timely photo I found earlier on choosing ones mood; I have been in a bad mood for two days and its time to get out of it and move on. It is time for a new mood; Its Sat March 23, 2013 and here is to a better day. Can it just be that easy? Think new mood and it will come. I will have a good day and then have a good day? Yes I think so.
It all started last Thursday, I knew I’d be off for a long weekend. I worked late to get more done. It is hard the first day I am off. To not check emails and believing it’s OK if the person has to wait a few days for an email answer. To me, its like car racing; It’s hard to go from 100 to zero- stopped, stepping away from work a few days. I like work and I like a break. I try not to wonder what is going on.
The bad mood crept in when I got home. It started when Countryman, who’s been looking for work (still looking for work, now and even while in school), was looking at a company, I didn’t approve of, shall we say.
How do you say you don’t like something without sounding negative? I simple Google search shows less than a stellar BBB better business bureau rating. Reports site, Independent contractors with complaints of working a month, waiting to be paid monthly, only to get paid for less than what was owed, or the company finding reasons not to pay at all. That’s after, as an Independent contractor you pay for all the gas driving all over the city, spending hours each day, working for a month. I’d be the one paying for the gas. This isn’t possible when you do the math- miles, x 3.50/per gallon of gas. This sounded worse than the newspaper delivery job he was doing last year. Why would I like this? Why would anyone like this?
I think the bad economy plays on the desperation of those still looking, hoping for work, to fall into some of this so called job opportunities.
To further amplify the bad mood I was developing, the kicker I been waiting for again; notice of license suspension for Countryman’s license by x future date if not compliant. Now here is the part where we may need to agree to disagree, because this was due to failure to pay child support. Again. We have been on this road before. That’s another story.
One should pay. He does pay when he is working. He paid when he had temp jobs. Even while in school we paid something; this is not even a tenth of the ordered amount, but we did pay 33.00, 37.00, 35.00 dollars per month, whatever, I could send in each month. I should clarify that, I paid.
We aren’t married; there isn’t any reason I should even pay anything that I do. I do it for me in a way; he can help drive on errands, trips, etc. When you put so much into something, when do you stop.? We both have had 40 plus years before being together. We are trying to build a future, his was a change with going to school and mine was after my ex moved out after 20 years. Starting over. New life.
I wanted him to finish school and find work. He did finish school, but still jobs are hard to find and they take time: time with phone calls, meetings, looking for field of study, full time, part time, any work-searching online sources, apps, many apps for entry level or any other opening to find while driving and searching, interviews, job fairs etc. He is competing for work from high students, college students, military and more. Now, it will be even more limiting if he can’t drive to find work or get to work. It’s frustrating, maddening to me.
If that isn’t enough, my mother can be equally maddening to me, when we try and decide on plans for holidays. They always cause strife and stress on what the plan is for the day. Easter is right around the corner, and my plan was to visit Countrymans family. I invited my mother along. It could be fun, people, kids, egg hunt, she could watch and eat and get out of the house for the day. That was not my mother’s plan. After a long speech about they aren’t her family, she won’t be going with us. No her plan was to have my son and I take her out to eat. In fact, she thinks I should take her out and let him visit his family. (which she wants for every holiday) She said I was cruel to not take her, as I only have one mother. If I had two mothers, would it be different? I try to not let the guilt trip get to me.
The joy of being an only child.
To make it all the more maddening if that is possible, is the stubborn fact, that if we can not do Easter (* insert holiday here) on THE day, then no other day will count and will not mean anything to her. In fact in the past, if we did happen to do something on a different day, she would tell her friends she was alone for the holiday and NOT mention we did the celebrating on a different day.
I’d be more than happy to have my son and I visit her and go out another day. Can’t we simply go the day before a and enjoy a meal out and celebrate Easter together on Saturday? NO, I guess not. I did this on Thanksgiving when we went to visit Countrymans family, she didn’t go with us. I wanted to have another celebration on a different day. My son and I did just that, since he was at his father’s Thanksgiving, we celebrated later together. I know she chooses this way of looking at Holidays. It doesn’t make any sense to me. It cannot be this black and white to her, that she will get every holiday, on THE day? Blended families. Compromise. Oh right not her family.
Maybe after watching Valarie Harper, as she battles her illness, she said “ don’t go to the funeral before the funeral”, so maybe if I apply that mindset to this situation, since I can’t change it or do anything about it, why let it get me down until it happens or if people chose their way of thinking, its how I react to it.
Here’s to a good day. Thanks for listening. I’m not a bigger sharer of stuff like this, but you all came over to visit for coffee, this would be that good morning coffee talk.
How are you?
Google searches on how to get out of a Bad Mood
1.What’s causing the bad mood. Stress, money problems., relationship, family? Identify the cause. (family, lack of Spring )
2.Do some manual task, anger might subside (cleaned the closet)
3.Don’t go shopping, might over spend. (stayed home)
4.Call someone and talk about it. (I’m calling all of you)
5.Music-(you tube is good for this)
7.Consider the other person attitude? (considered- can’t pay what we don’t have, and we share holidays)
8.Change your attitude and it changes your day (changed)
9.Exercise (still working on this one)
10 Write down what’s bothering you(this is a good one, I should write this down….)
- 11 Ask yourself are things really that bad? (no not that bad- I have a good guy, it’s a challenge starting a new relationship for anyone; a son who is smart and wonderful and still likes to hangout with his mom)
- Treat yourself (I did my nails, last week I did a bunch of pamper treatments, I follow FB’ers and bloggers and see what they are doing, traveling, which is fun!
13 Talk to children or the elderly (I found a few Easter projects we can do next weekend with the young kids)
- 14 Yoga (I’m in my butterfly pose now, can you see it?)
- 15 Creative outlet- Crafts. ( I love crafts. I still need to finish the spring curtains. )
16 Cook- make dinner, eat and enjoy (I added this one)
17 Garden- I always enjoy getting out in the dirt and seeing flowers grow. Beauty (added this one)
- 18 and Last but not least- Eat Dark Chocolate. (where did I put that Easter Bunny)
Can you think of more?